Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
