I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
