i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
