oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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