It's just like the Real World with babies
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
