saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
