Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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