remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
