@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
