So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
