How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
