she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
