Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize