i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
