Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
