your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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