I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
