Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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