I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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