There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
