how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
