I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
