How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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