Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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