well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This is my gift to your gina
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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