My friends, they love my intelligence
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
