Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
