I just threw up on my dentist
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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