apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
