you would pick up someone in the library
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
