Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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