I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize