Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize