He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Are we still banned from the library?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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