She said her name was "party"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize