he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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