The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
