Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
they're like a gay fantastic four
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
