You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
