My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Did I show you my penis last night?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
