it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
