I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
zippers are such a cool invention
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
