Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
