i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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