she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
