Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
