Do you still have your period?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize