I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize