If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
