She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
