I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just high enough for therapy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
