We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
