I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
