Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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