she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
