so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
