Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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