dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
