SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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