I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
