pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
